My youngest son came home from school one day and out of nowhere, and with no lead in asked, "why are you and dad still married?" I was shocked. We do everything we can to make our kids comfortable in the house and we put a pin in any arguments while they are around and wait till they are at school or in bed to discuss anything that may give them cause for concern, which in 14 years together I can count on one hand the number of major arguments we have had. So I asked him "what made you ask this?" his response was "all my friends have parents that are divorced and I think it's weird that my parents are still together". I found this so depressing! I feel for these kids that are growing up in a single parent household, I am from one. My mom was everything for me and my brother. Mom, dad, cheerleader, sounding board, teacher, etc. She was a rock star even though I didn't realize and appreciate it then. I tried explaining to him that he and his brother don't realize how incredibly lucky they are that they DO have both parents still together and very much in love under the same roof. That they have mom for cuts and scrapes or dad for guy time and girl questions. They don't understand that in a society where the divorce rate is 53% that we are in the minority and we put all of ourselves into a good marriage and a good home for them. We took our vows very seriously and "till death do us part" or "for worse or for better" means something. We've been through better AND worse and we come out stronger for it. Most people aren't willing to stick out the rough spots and it creates a lot of broken homes and children that don't know what they are missing by not having both parents all the time. I am proud to say that we are the few that make it work and strive to make it work every single day. I know without the shadow of a doubt that I married the love of my life and the man I was supposed to be with forever. Hopefully as my kids grow they understand the love their dad and I share and will realize that it's what they want from a relationship. If they take anything from our marriage it should be that their significant other should be cherished and loved above all else (except for their kids).
So what are some of my secrets for a long and healthy marriage?
1. Marry your best friend and stay each others best friend. You should never trust anyone more than your spouse
2. Never go to bed angry. Bad feelings only fester so make sure it is resolved or at least spoken about before you go to bed.
3. Communicate. I don't mean a text or e-mail. I mean sit down for dinner or on the porch and talk for a few minutes about your day.
4. Make her feel special and loved. Girls that goes the same in reverse.
5. The little things really are what matter. My husband is not the most romantic guy in the world but he does it in his own way. Those little things he does for me are far better than big romantic gestures.
6. Most importantly, forget about the past before you were together. You can't change it and you wouldn't want to. His or her past is what shaped the person you love and the instances are what brought you together.
This is my first blog but I am going to jump right in.
I try to instill the utmost respect for our soldiers and what they do for us and our country, into my children. My mom did that with me and I tear up every time I hear my kids say the Pledge of Allegiance or take their hat off during the National Anthem, without having to be told to do so. I know I have done something right. I have been reading lately about Chris Kyle and how he lied about the number of kills or awards he had. Fine, he embellished but the ensuing comments are disgusting. The one that did it for me was "real heroes save lives, not take them". So with that comment in mind I have to say that heroes come in many shapes, sizes, colors, forms, genders, jobs, etc. Some have to take ONE life to save THOUSANDS. That is a sacrifice that I would hope any soldier makes. Just think, if we had been "heroic" and saved Bin Laden, how many more would have died in his quest to bring our country down? That one life taken, heroic. What people don't seem to understand is that these soldiers go into battle even if they don't agree with the cause because they follow orders. That's the job, follow orders. Their superiors tell them to jump and they say "sir, yes sir" no questions asked because that is quite simply their job. They are told where to go, what to do, who to kill or save, and they do it for the betterment of our country and our lives. So my job is to give them my unwavering support because they don't have the luxury of sitting back and judging what a hero is. They don't have the luxury of saying no to an assignment they don't think is right. So while you may not agree with the war or killings, you support our troops 200%. Blame the higher ups handing down the orders but NEVER the troops that are just doing their jobs. There is no bigger hero than a soldier and I thank everything holy that we have men and women brave enough to do that job. That we have families that are willing to support and offer their husbands, wives, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters wanting to do that job, HEROIC. So before you bash a soldier for what they do or don't do, remember they are the brave souls that provide you the freedom you enjoy so much every day. If you don't like how it's provided, don't let the red, white and blue door hit you in the a$$ on your way out of the country!
